| July 14 - Down with the Taco Truck like Al Pastor |
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Oh No!
Get Up & Hold On Tracks of Your Train Who's Your Daddy? |
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Sometime back in a remote part of the Appalachian Mountains, a group of teenagers ascended in to the treacherous mountains in search of a remote area to party, without the consequence of the cops ruining their fun. They traveled deep into the forest and brought a keg of natural light with them. No sooner had they reached their party spot, set up the keg, and began dropping acid when a violent thunderstorm approached. The storm moved in dumping hail and rain all over the underage drinkers. Drenched and cold they all ran for cover and were forced to head back down the mountain. Leaving their prized keg behind, a powerful bolt of lightning lit up the night sky striking down and touching the keg. The keg exploded spraying beer 50 feet into the air, causing a huge cloud of beer foam, mist, and smoke. And giving birth to Johnny P. The baby, cradled in the blown apart keg, cold from the rain and wind, was soon rescued by the Sharukhan, a powerful being from the ancient world, who is said to have mastered the power of sound. Specifically, the ability to involuntarily control a person's movements through the use of bass. |
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The Sharukhan gave the baby shelter and raised Johnny P for the first 9 years of his life. It is during this time that Johnny P was exposed to the power
of music. It is rumored that the Sharukhan could chop a tree down and reduce it to firewood by merely producing a hip-hop beat. Of course Johnny P
possessed neither the discipline nor the patience to fully harness this new power. And before his teacher could give him the necessary guidance,
the great master was called off to a far corner of the world to confront a deadly enemy and Johnny P could not come along. Johnny P went back to civilization, and soon attended middle school and became a teenager. A couple years later he met Jackie H, who had also crossed paths with the Sharukhan several years earlier, and the two started causing chaos around the Washington D.C. area. Once they turned 21 that chaos turned to downright debauchery with places like the Grog & Tankard in Washington D.C. bearing the brunt of the cleaning bills that come along with in your face hip hop. Meanwhile the Sharukhan, having defeated his enemy, had become aware that Jackie H and Johnny P and teamed up. Keeping a mindful eye on his protÈgÈs, he quickly decided to intervene before things got out of hand in a bad way. He went on to executive produce an album as a way to make sure the powerful young warriors would not accidentally misuse their uncontrollable infant powers. A man who is seldom heard speaking and rarely seen, the Sharukhan gave his blessing on this raucous duo and set them loose in Los Angeles. |
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